One man, one woman. That's what equals marriage. How many bumper stickers have you seen promoting that? Too many to count. But that's real marriage according to who - the Bible? the Pope? Mark Driscoll? James Dobson? Fox News?
The bumper stickers are in response to the gay marriage debate. To legalize or not to legalize. That is the question. And the conservative Christian right is retaliating with traditional marriage, correction, with what they say traditional marriage is.
Except they're lying, unintentionally I'm sure, but lying nonetheless. Prehistoric marriage was more like indiscriminate sex with anyone and everyone, or at least those more adapted for survival. It's simple Darwinism. As people evolved and became more complex, marriage evolved and became more complex. It soon became just another way to trade and barter. It was a good deal though, I mean, anything with a vagina surely makes a fantastic addition to your business deal, right? Women continued to have little to say in their marriages as the rise of the Greece commenced. We're jumping around biblical times here. Mary could've been as young as twelve, while Joseph would've been around thirty. And the right-wings are comparing homosexuality to pedophilia as a defense for traditional marriage? Well, that's effective. The history of marriage continues; the church outlaws polygamy, the church creates requirements for marriage licenses and thus one can now have technically illegitimate children, the church requires celibacy for priests, the protestants glorify marriage, and now we're in the 1800s where this foreign concept of marriage for love comes about. Not that the idea of love wasn't foreign, courtly love was praised by bards and minstrels in the Middle Ages, yet it was an extramarital, rarely consummated affair. Yet here people were marrying for love, twue wuv, twue wuv, which bwings us togethew, today. It wasn't until 1874 that the South Carolina Supreme Court ruled that husbands could no longer beat their wives. Well that's a pretty picture of traditional marriage, the fair Mrs. Smith cowering in the corner while Mr. Smith stands belt in hand. What a beautiful thing the right is promoting! Interracial marriages weren't deemed legal until 1967, and in 1970, husbands were given unilateral control of property with their wives and were no longer legally the "masters".
But that's just marriage in western civilization.
I have yet to delve into the marriages of the Musuo people of China, the Aché of Paraguay, the Canela Indians, the special extra marriages of Shia Muslims, the Kung San of Botswana, the Warao people of Brazil, and more. The amount of people involved in a marriage could shock us still in the safe womb of our familiar western culture. The Musuo people have a 'walking' marriage, in which the male visits the woman at night for sex, yet all is called off when the woman decides. The marriage could be as long one night or a lifetime; it's all up to the woman in their matriarchal society. The Aché people of Paraguay define marriage as two people living in the same hut. Want a divorce? Just move your bed mat to another and snuggle up with your new hubby. In order for the Canela bride to be considered married, she needs to go through a special ceremony involving sex with fifteen or more partners. The Shia Muslims can have a temporary pleasure marriage, or rather one night stand, called the Nikah Mut'ah, and is conveniently blessed by Allah. In Botswana, a couple is married when they can prove they can support all of life's obstacles, including having a baby. Certainly brings a new perspective to the test drive analogy. The Warao have a special festival in which all marriages are temporarily suspended for two weeks of orgies with whomever they please.
Traditional marriage? I wonder what Rick Santorum would say to this?
Oh wait, I know. The bible doesn't approve of anything outside one man, one woman marriage, and the bible is the word of God because the bible says so.
So let's look at the bible and see just how important marriage was then. Well, King Solomon had three-hundred wives and seven-hundred concubines. How's that for traditional? Also, rape victims, according to Old Testament law, had to marry their rapists. Well I'm sure that was a healthy marriage; it's just a good thing this was long before wife-beating was outlawed. Also, when soldiers were looting cities in the name of God, they could take any pretty girl they pleased for a wife. I'm sure prisoners of war are just fantastic in bed! Men were also "married" to their wives slaves, in other words, it was just another socket for their plug. All approved by God, of course.
What I'm really trying to get at, is that marriage isn't exactly traditional, not so cut-and-dry. Marriage is cultural, sexuality is human, and everything isn't always black and white. There's a lot of beauty in the gray, whether it's in homosexuality or a walking marriage, or even "traditional" marriage. Just try to see the beauty in it all. Do it. I dare you.
Sources:
http://www.azcentral.com/families/articles/1101marriageevolution01.html
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sex-dawn/200812/traditional-marriage-which-tradition
