There was the sound of grinding tire against the road, and Katie could see the white mail truck drive off and disappear over the hill. The mail was here. Drawing in a deep breath, Katie placed her hand gingerly on the doorknob of the front door. It was time to get the mail. Exhaling, she flicked her wrist and opened the screen door. With a creak it shut behind her. And there she stood on the porch in front of her red brick house in the middle of acres of farmland on the outskirts of Landonville. But no, she could go farther than that. On the outskirts of Landonville in the state of Pennsylvania in the United States of America in North America, the western hemisphere, the planet Earth, the Milky Way – the universe. Here she was standing on this single spot being no more important than a speck of dust. Did the cosmos really care if that letter had come? Would the sun still rise if he were really dead? Of course the cosmos would not care and of course the sun would still rise. They cared for her as one cares for a minute speck of dust – they thought nothing about her let alone her problems because when it came right down to it, she wasn’t important.
Katie crumpled the skirt of her dress in her hands. But then, what if… what if there was a whole another world on that speck of dust? An entirely other existence! Would that world, on that minute speck of dust, care if there was a letter in the mailbox saying that he’s dead? Maybe… probably not. Would that whole dust-speck world matter to the rest of the universe? Now that was something to think about! But then another thought hit her mind, if there was a whole world on a speck of dust, who’s to say there wasn’t an entire existence within her? What if the fact that she existed was enough, it was the end all? An entire unique universe within herself! Now Katie felt rather overwhelmed, thinking such big thoughts as these, but it was giving her time to stall. Would there be universes in others? Well, it only seemed logical.
The mailbox was still there waiting, but Katie had a few more questions, a few more opportunities to stall. If there was an entire existence within herself, how did that change her relationship with him, dead or alive? Well, death was inevitable. This thought now struck Katie strangely. Death was inevitable, and that seemed to make life… kind of… pointless. Even if he was, by the protection of some angel over there, still alive, it was still pointless. Life was pointless; it all didn’t matter. So if he was dead… Katie was now trying to fathom the idea that people, on the outside looked like normal creatures, but on the inside contained an entire universe. Imagine that! People walking down the streets, with an entire universe within in them that she could not see, nor understand. Perhaps she should try to understand her own universe within her, perhaps she should find some meaning in life with or without him… but then, that seemed absurd.
Katie had stalled too long. Now was the time to look at the mail. Slowly, calmly, Katie descended the steps. Slowly, calmly, Katie walked down the brick path. Slowly, calmly, Katie walked across the road, and slowly, calmly, Katie opened the mailbox. There was, inside, a solitary letter. Carefully she pulled it out and inspected it. It was starch white, with bold letters printed on it. “Katherine Williams, 707 Windermere Drive, Landonville, Pa, 19680”. It didn’t have the full address; they forgot to add the fact that it was in the United States, North America, the western hemisphere… she had to open that letter. Slowly she peeled it open, removed the letter, and unfolded it. “Ms. Katherine Williams, The Secretary of the Army has asked me to express deep regret that your Robert was…” Katie read no more. She did not wish to read anymore. Carefully she wiped a tear away, trying to tell herself what her recent revelations had told her:
It didn’t matter.
No comments:
Post a Comment